think most of people’s lives, when it comes to love, whether it’s something you have, sometimes it can be painful when you have it… I think love lost is pain. Probably the biggest pain you have in life is losing love, which I don’t think it equals it necessarily but I think it’s definitely associated and it comes hand in hand. I don’t think you can have love without knowing pain and I don’t think you could have love without ever experiencing pain ever because eventually, I don’t think love is a permanent thing. Eventually it either fades away or it’s taken away or the person passes away it’s just not guaranteed. Or people, you know, there’s betrayal. Whether it’s that, or whether you’re in an abusive situation, whether it’s a parent, or a love interest, like sometimes it equals that. Sometimes you want that because it’s the only love you have, or you don’t know it any other way. It’s comfortable. Almost when it’s too good, it’s kind of more uncomfortable because something’s wrong or it’s going to be really bad when you least expect it. That’s what I feel like, from my experience, whether it’s family or love or you know boyfriends, whatever, it’s always kind of always going, I don’t think I’ve ever had a relationship that was always smooth all the way through. Even friends, you know you get into little fights, or whatever, sometimes you part ways and it can be painful, I don’t know, I don’t think anyone could truly honestly say they‘ve ever had love that’s been completely healthy and stable the entire time.
I’m dating a guy that also had very big issues I think in his childhood with feeling loved and feeling accepted and maybe some abuse as well, I think it’s torturous because we’re both damaged people, but at the same time it’s a beautiful relationship in the sense that we understand eachother whereas when I’ve been with really well adjusted people that had really smooth childhoods I think that you know they treated me nice and maybe I created drama but they never understood why and it was a big battle and I think a lot of people have questioned my relationship because they know I’ve had issues with it but I’m like no, maybe you don’t understand how we connect and why and I do think like when you have two people who have similar upbringing, not upbringing but experiences early on, that there’s a connection there that you can’t really explain.